Mena Suvari Lisa G.: An American beauty. David: The Little Mermaid goes to the prom. Johnny: "Welcome to heaven. God will be right with you!" Strasser: Gorgeous -- but she still owes me $9 for The Musketeer. Wolf: Who would say "bye-bye" to this American Pie? Cross: Mena so horny. Weinhold: Now there's an angel I wouldn't mind being touched by. Jennifer Lopez Lisa G.: Robin Hood's ho. Johnny: Wold's sexiest fisherman. Strasser: Looks like her love does caost a thing -- about 50 bucks. Wolf: a new J. Low. Weinhold: From Frederick's of Nottingham. Jane Semour Lisa G.: Jane See Less. David: Dr. Quinn wears a bottle of Imodium. Johnny: Turn this dress upside down and add iced tea. Strasser: You can tell how old she is by counting the rings. Ahern: Introducing the shock-absorbing dress. Skene: It's ribbed for our pleasure. Cross: Beam me up, Slutty! Weinhold: Finally! A slinky for older kids. Joan Collins David: At last, Queen Elizabeth has a makeover. Strasser: I haven't seen this much gathering since Woodstock. Wolf: Not all purple dinosaurs are named Barney. Skene: The Joan Collins Beanie Baby -- actual size. Steven Segal Lisa G.: Chow Old-Fat. Strasser: On the way to nirvana, he stopped at Sears. Ahern: Some Chinese restaurant is missing a large strip of wallpaper. Skene: Emphasize his bustline! Cross: Middle-Aged Mutant Ninja Pumpkin. Deborah Gibson Wolf: Are your pupils dilated or are you just happy to se me? Strasser: "Why do people keep offering me free eye exams?" Cross: What's even stranger, her butt has a nose on it. Weinhold: That's weird. Her breasts seem to follow me around the room. Home |  Syndicated Column |  While You Were Out |  Fashion Police |  Lovers Lounge |  Resume Photo Gallery |  Mailing List |  Personal Stuff